Hello!

in⋅som⋅ni⋅a

2009-06-23T23:48:00.001-07:00

in⋅som⋅ni⋅a

[in-som-nee-uh]

–noun inability to obtain sufficient sleep, esp. when chronic; difficulty in falling or staying asleep; sleeplessness.

The past two days have been arguably excruciating. Stuck home all day with nothing to do. I mean what could be more entertaining then being glued on the computer playing Sims 3 for seven straight hours... Most likely I am addicted and is probably the reason why I posted the following noun above. I really don't know if I have insomnia. It is obviously difficult for me to fall asleep right now (I usually call it a day around 10) because I am typing but I just can't get her off my mind. I feel so selfish for thinking about her all the time. Everyone needs their space and I know I do too but all I want to be is by her side lost in her smile. Call it love, romance, I'll call it insomnia.

Another bored summer day.

2009-06-17T16:17:00.001-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wQUyJBRi02E

OMG FUCKING MS TRAN I FUCKING LOVE YOU

2009-06-10T16:21:00.001-07:00

T.T OMG I FREAKING LOVE YOU I WANT TO HAVE BABIES WITH YOU!

Senior.

2009-06-08T18:48:00.000-07:00

I never thought about being a senior. Junior year passed by so quickly and it feels like it was only yesterday I was a freshmen holding around an oversize guitar case. Academically, I feel I didn't do my best. It hurts me to say this but I regret not pushing myself. I feel I should have spent my weekends studying instead of laying around. Still, it is something I just have to move on from and to look past. Which brings me to the question, what do I want to do achieve in my life. Becoming a teacher is something I feel I would enjoy because you pass down your knowledge. I've had so many bullshit teachers that didn't even give a shit about their students and have the stupidest scoring ever. I want to do my best as a person to provide help to make sure the student succeeds and understands everything I've learned to help them achieve their goal. Being a optometrist isn't a bad idea either. Nor is being a dentist or something in the medical field. *chuckles The only problem is what would I teach?

I can't even see what I'll be doing in ten years. Pssh I wouldn't even mind taking one of those cubicle jobs.

2009-05-03T22:17:00.000-07:00

I desperately need new guitar strings. The stiffness is beginning to irritate my fingers.

2009-05-03T21:46:00.001-07:00

I was looking through my favorites on Youtube and came across a video I haven't seen in awhile. It was a concert of one of my favorite bands. From the deep inspiring lyrics, to the goosebumps from the guitar-fills, the song truly is the definition of remarkable. The crowds of people surrounding the stadium, the echo of voices repeating after every last spoken word. A feeling I would absolutely do anything for. Once he said

"So Sally can wait, she knows it too late as we're walking on by"

I never wanted the song to end.

Fuck.

2009-02-24T21:48:00.000-08:00

I said it 47 times today. I need to stop cussing.

Time to be prodcuctive.

2009-02-18T17:33:00.000-08:00

The only thing that cheers me up.

And winter break begins...

2009-02-16T21:20:00.000-08:00

A whole week full of morning showers and sleepless skies. Well, I started off the day on a good note I presume. I woke up at 9 a.m. which allowed me thirty minutes to get ready for rehearsal. Sadly, this left no time for me to snack on something. I don't know what it is, but ever since I set up all those alarms in the morning, I never really "wake-up." I usually hop out of my sheets, shut off the alarm, and fall back to sleep. Similar to a reflex. Except the past couple days, instead of turning off the alarm clock, I mistakenly switch on the television, shut off the alarm, and shut off the television just to go back to sleep.

Auditioning for the musical didn't turn out to be as awful as I thought. I actually look forward to rehearsals because of everybody's enthusiasm and cleverness while acting but vocals would have to be the only days that irritate me. None of the songs interest me unless my part is given a little solo or a "high part" if you know what I mean. I usually stare at the clock wishing for the rehearsal to finish. Disappointingly, that wasn't the case today.

At home, I watched half of Casper and just finished Resident Evil: Degeneration. I find Christina Ricci's personality attractive for some odd reason. Not only in this movie, but in The Addams Family and other movies as well. I suppose I have a thing for weird girls. As for Resident Evil, I was hoping it would have the same horrible dialogue similar to the older games but that deceived me. Still, I recall one line that was memorable. Claire received a cup of tea and complimented Frederic (the person who invited her for tea) with "mmm its delicious." I don't know why, but the way she pointed it out suddenly made me burst out in laughter. Other than that, the movie was unoriginal and predictable, but what can you expect from a straight to dvd cg video game movie. They knew fans were going to purchase the film anyways regardless of the rating. As for me, guilty as charged.

Well, now I am going to finish off the night watching Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist while enjoying a bowl of Recess Puffs cereal. RECESS? FOR BREAK....fuck it haha. Time for me to find FLUFFY.

Weekends.

2009-02-01T21:42:00.000-08:00

My weekends are far from exciting. Every weekend is similar like the other. Sleeping in till 10 a.m, browsing the internet, playing video games, jamming on Daphne, homework, and back to sleep. The only exciting thing was sleeping which was completely out of the ordinary. Usually I don't remember any of my dreams unless they compose "unrated material" (if you know what I mean) but when my dreams are random, I tend to have a brief memory of it.

I wonder if my dreams were trying to tell me something. All I remember was using an elevator that brought me 5 minutes to the past. (similar to Bill and Ted's magical telephone booth) Maybe I was trying to tell myself to change my bet from the Cardinals to the Steelers in the last 5 minutes of the game. Who knows...

Currently Listening to:

You're more beautiful than anything than in this world
More precious than a very star in a pearl
And even though it didn't work out together
You're still my sunset, set, set.

Yup.

2009-01-28T21:55:00.001-08:00

It's been awhile since I posted on this blog. I guess I am too lazy to the point where I can barely reach my mouse over the bookmarks tab and scroll all the way down to my page. Well, what did I do today that will bring you to awe? Hmm, all I can remember doing was playing my guitar a.k.a. Daphne. (haha) Seems that once I lay one finger on my fretboard, I am already memorized to the sound of fingers sliding up and down stiff yet rewarding steel strings. (Yes, I have to replace my strings.) From playing One Touch, to Why I Love You, and immediately It Might Be You has made me wonder how musicians come up with these lyrics.

Time, I've been passing time watching trains go by
All of my life
Lying on the sand watching seabirds fly
Wishing there could be someone
Waiting home for me

And how they know exactly how I feel.

2009-01-17T17:37:00.000-08:00

Girl, you are like summer rain
Soft and warm and delicate
And I am a foolish boy
Tryin' to catch every drop of you
On my tongue...
But there's just too many
And I can't get enough...

You're inches from my fingertips
I've come as close as I can get
I'm reaching but the rest is up to you...
Cause I don't ever wanna miss
Being here with you like this
I'm trying but it's all that I can do
I'm reaching but the rest is up to you...

Girl, you are the morning sky
Glowing calm with burning light
And as I am waking up
You paint your reflection in my eye
Wonder if you've noticed
I can't look away...

You're inches from my fingertips
I've come as close as I can get
I'm reaching but the rest is up to you...
Cause I don't ever wanna miss
Being here with you like this
I'm trying but it's all that I can do
I'm reaching but the rest is up to you...

And you say, so you say
It's a brilliance meant to fade
Love is wild like a fire
Burning underneath the rain
But this is not the same...

Yup.

2009-01-08T18:01:00.000-08:00

I got a new phone! Text/Call me at 981-2042.

To summarize this week, I was deaf in my left ear from wax build-up for the first 2 days of school and suffered mild pain. Basically that's it. I'll have to find time to write about something interesting.

The New Year.

2009-01-01T22:44:00.000-08:00

Well, its been two days and I still have this stupid fever. I don't know what I enjoy more, waking up in the middle of the night to take my medication only to be awaken 6 hours later to take it again or being unable to sleep because of this unpleasant weather. I went to watch The Curious Case of Benjamin Button which was an interesting movie. Despite the two hours and forty-five minutes of torture, it was entertaining to see the life through a person growing younger. (I can never keep still for a movie longer than an hour and a half. I usually have to shake my leg or sit on my hand to find a comfortable position.) The message in the movie was "Nothing lasts forever. Appreciate everything you are given because you never really know how important things are until they're gone." A great message to think about this new year. The movie has a lot of memorable quotes and scenes and is something you should check out.

And still, my cheek is puffy.

Crap.

2008-12-30T16:13:00.000-08:00

I freaking woke up with a huge ass headache. I have a fucking fever. Nothing could be better than a huge headache and a hole in your mouth that won't stop bleeding. Sorry we didn't get to jam Abby... Hope this makes you feel better xD.

A Puffy Cheek.

2008-12-30T01:18:00.000-08:00

Today, or technically yesterday since its 1:18 in the morning, I had my wisdom teeth pulled out. See, I would have had it pulled out 3 weeks ago, but I didn't follow the rule by not eating or drinking 6-8 hours before. For some reason, I dreamed the night before that I was already at the office getting my teeth pulled out. Sadly, the surgery was not how I pictured.

When I arrived at the office, I waited as I watched the surgeon walk by grabbing folders and tossing envelopes around. He stood about six feet tall, and for some reason he reminded me of a hairless Santa Clause. From his personality, I felt a little skeptic because of the way he treated his patients. He seemed too nice and a little too laid back. After, I heard my name. I followed this lady into a room far from what I dreamed. See, in my dream, I pictured a clean white room, with a dentist chair, and an oxygen mask waiting for my usage. It was the complete opposite. The place looked as if it was a scene in an 80's horror movie. A movie where a doctor straps down a patient and carefully slits each part of the person's living body while the nurse watches in laughter. Anyways, I removed my jacket and shoes and laid on this table (kinda like the autopsy tables seen in C.S.I). They strapped me down making sure I would not move during the operation, and placed this stapler looking thing on my index finger which checked my pulse. Now as they were doing this, I was wondering, how are they going to put me to sleep? They were going to put me to sleep, right? Unexpectedly, the surgeon grabs my arm, and sprays this chemical that instantly freezes my arm. He then went on talking about how this is similar to a snow boot in Alaska crushing an icicle which made me confused. Doing so, he grabbed a needle, and injected it through my vein. I became relieved because I did not feel the injection but gazed as bits of blood squirted from my arm. Moments later, I remember looking up at the ceiling as they placed these goggles on my face and completely falling deep asleep. I hear the cracking of bones being crushed together for a split second and wake up immediately after. And let me tell you, once I woke up, my whole body felt like a twizzler. My head felt completely light, and I did not have any feeling in any of my arms. My attempt at walking around resembled an orangutan. Bringing my arms back and forth as my neck was hunched out. It came to the point where I needed assistance from the surgeon to escort me to the car. Once I sat in the car, I fell asleep only to be awaken from the pleasuring smell of cookie dough ice cream my mother bought from Baskin Robbins.

Also, I went Go-Kart racing with Antoine, Aaron, Donald, Anthony and Khoi. Pretty Cool. I need to get my lisence.

My Niece Joy.

2008-12-28T02:30:00.001-08:00

Yes she needed her own entry.

Well since coming back from Hawaii, my sleeping schedule has been screwed. Its 3 in the morning and I can't go to sleep for some reason. Damn you Independence day, made me fall asleep.

Hawaii

2008-12-27T00:18:00.000-08:00

As far as I can remember, it was a place where I can truly always call paradise. Where warm fuzzy clouds await the command of your very own imagination. Where calm soothing skies are only describable by the word beautiful. Where the ocean breeze caresses against your cheek after the chilly sensation of sea water drips away from your nose. A little place or "island" I like to call Hawaii. Having days where I would be awaken from the sweet easing voice of singing birds and falling asleep to the comforting sound of ukulele strings was merely a daily routine. The delicacy of Hawaii's nature is unlike any other place I've seen. From pickle-like feet covered in sticky sand to the sweet sound of the ocean waves nothing beats a day in Hawaii. Raindrops were the last thing I thought about in the Aloha state. Not till the day I thought would never come.

The no where near fluffy clouds sailed across the skies of gray while the morning breeze was nothing close to relaxing. Once I stepped off the plane I knew things were far from normal. I wondered where the rainbows have gone, why I felt like Dorothy? There's no place like home, right Grandma? Its just not the same. The first couple of days my aunts and uncles picked up heartbroken relatives as I waited at home gazing at the raindrops flowing past the window. I would try killing the drowsy afternoon watching hours of countless movies but that only led to me falling asleep halfway through the film. Still, the idea that each day brought me closer to her funeral only made my day slower.

Monday, December 15 was the day of the family viewing. It is when close family members walk into a dull room where rows of chairs face towards the end of the room where her very open casket lies. Once I walked in, I found the closest seat and carefully watched as my relatives stormed to her body. I wasn't too close to my grandmother but the suffering I watched from my aunts and uncles brought me to tears. I couldn't watch them cry, it really broke me down. All the memories I had were pictures of her holding me when I was a child, or her playing the piano while she sang. In every picture, she had the same expression on her face. A expression that would bring joy to all. When they called us up for pictures, I knew it would be steps I would have to take again the next couple of days. Every step that drew me closer rose the beating of my heart until I reached the last step. A step that froze my heart. There she laid. Peacefully in her casket with her colorless hands wrapped in a rosary. Her make-up done poorly able to tell who she was, her long dark hair tied back and her dress, lovely yet the last she will ever wear.

Well if I am right, a video camera is used to record moments from the past to say "I remember that, that was fun!" or "I wish we can do that again!" What I don't understand is why my mother wanted me to record the funeral. I don't think I'll ever be able to watch that video. The last thing I recorded was the toughest three minutes I will ever experience. The drops of rain slowly faded away and all that was foreseeable was the gloomy open sky. Everyone watched the grave diggers unstrap the coffin cautiously hearing every single buckle unwind. Unexpectedly, when her coffin barely moved an inch, a burst of tears screamed out from the crowd. I stood in the corner recording every single cry, every shriek, as I struggled keeping my fingers on the camera. Recording every unhappy look as they watched her sink. After her coffin was safely ten feet under, I shut off the camera and grasped my fingers on a rose. Sending my last farewells, I released the flower below hoping she received every tear. Hawaii will never be the same without you. Goodbye Grandma, may you bring happiness wherever you are, just like you've done to us.

Victorina Ulep Abuluyan October 30, 1929 - November 21,2008